This is going to be a now page. I’ll try to list what I’m up to these days, what I’m currently reading, and listening to.
January 26, 2021
Once again, I’m updating this now-page after a hiatus of two months. I am not going to be promising myself regular updates here. It’s not happening. And it is completely alright. 2021 has started running in full speed, and we are already at the end of the first month of this year. I was able to move back to Bangalore, after 7 months. And it feels good.
I have been able to resume running again, albeit with a poor timing for a 5 KM run, but that is still a start. I have been reading, I have been writing even more. And that’s got to count for something?
I plan to look inwards more and figure out a lot more about my personal and professional goals and values. Meanwhile, I will also try to figure out, how the hell do people manage to stay focused while listening to a podcast?
November 22, 2020
I wish I were regular with the now page as I initially thought I would be. But here goes nothing. An attempt to ensure that I write a weekly now, if possible.
I am stuck on a newly discovered artist, courtesy of a friend, Ben Platt. I was recommended Ease My Mind, and I have been hooked to the song, its video and Ben. Yesterday, I had a beautiful night watching Ben’s performance on Netflix, with the said friend. Did I say it was amazing? It was the most fun Saturday night I remember having, in a long-long time. Who said good music and great company cannot be magical?
The last week or ten days have been interesting. I have been experimenting with (re)building habits and learning how to build them. So for starters, I want to do the following for a month, every day, even if for 30 minutes: read/write, exercise, meditate, and start something new, something creative… an instrument, a language, anything.
I have been able to toy with the idea of two side-projects which I had on my mind for the longest time. I’ve put in some more thought and structure about them. So that is a win. (Spotify-playlist-gen, Eng-Manager-Resources) I want to see how much time would I actually take to get them started.
I am almost done with Invisible Women, and the book is making me see the world with a new perspective. But it is also making me angry and helpless. And at this moment, I have no idea what to do about it. I hope to figure it out… soon.
Note to self for this year: There is no secret ingredient. It’s just you.
October 7, 2020
I read a simple thing, which kept playing in my mind for a long time. “Don’t partner with cynics and pessimists. Their beliefs are self-fulfilling.” And I could feel the burn of it. I don’t think I would have partnered with myself for any sort of a partnership, business or otherwise when I was mentally suck in that well of cynicism, and was holding it so strongly - that I did not want to get out even. I can see the difference now, I feel it; even on days I’m down, I’m able to ensure that I’m not feeding off my cynicism, and be a lot more rational and optimistic about myself and the world.
I promised myself to bridge the gap between how much I want to read versus how much I was reading for real: I’m glad that’s one more step taken.
Next thing on my list to understand? The fundamentals of guilt and its motivation. Here’s what my naive understanding of guilt currently is: Once we have learned our lessons from the past, there is no reason to wrack ourselves with guilt. The past has served its purpose. Now at any given moment, we need to look and evaluate the possible actions available to us. Then ponder, consider, and take whichever one seems most likely to lead to a future full of light.
I’m listening to Soen after years, YEARS together. Their first album Cognitive reminded me so much of Tool - the good kind of Tool. Lykaia reminded me of Leprous and Tesseract. And Lotus, the 2019 album reminds me so much of Opeth. And in between all of this, I think I wasn’t appreciating Soen’s originality in their tracks.